Apple Slices Sound Good About Now

I've been in situations where things are not going as I would expect and I just let out my feelings. Probably not the coolest thing to do; you know, the sales clerk that won't return an item without a receipt even though the tags are still attached or the driver in the next lane that drives so slow making it impossible for you to pass. I suppose I've even uttered that four letter word and tossed in a hand gesture or two when I felt the times was right. After either getting my way or still making a scene I've found myself somewhat remorseful for my actions and have decided it was time to change my ways. Before you go patting me on the back or giving me the high-five let it be known the intention remains the same it's just the words that I'm changing.
My plan is to communicate my fascination, displeasure or disgust without the object of my disdain being aware of the fact. "Frickin" or "fudge" is now accepted as a softer version of the real F-word; everyone between the ages of 4 and 104 knows what you're really saying. So I've decide to try my hand at complicating the act of communicating.
Did you know you can smile and say "idiot" without moving your lips? Try it. See, it's easy and it comes in handy at times; the times are when you are having to deal, with an idiot. There are other times when a smile and unmovable lips will not do. You're in a hurry, spotting the shortest checkout line, you rush past the old guy breathing with an oxygen tank and nearly trip over a toddler pushing her own stroller just in time to see the clerk put up the "This Lane Closed" sign. "Aw Sugar!" is too close to the real thing and there is a toddler present. I now prefer, "Apple Slices!" "Darn it" is too commonplace, I'm beginning to like the sound of "Donuts!"
Let's get creative. Everyone knows OMG is omigod, but do they know over my gardenia? You may to utter a few more syllables but you've got them thinking. "Falsify" could be the substitute for the proverbial you-know-what word, and "Brown Shoes" can be the new BS. Ok, now you've got the idea. Crack open your Funk & Wagnalls and get started confusing everyone.