This is Sickening

At about midnight I woke up and didn't feel right; it took me until 3:00am to get sick. I immediately felt better and went back to bed thinking that was the end of it. I was wrong; the next half hour found me back in the bathroom two more times. Getting up so often was making me dizzy and I made a pillow of towels and slept there for awhile. Good thing I did.....

I do goofy things and have goofy thoughts when I'm sick. I would never think of cleaning the bathroom, the toilet in particular, without wearing my rubber gloves; when I'm sick, i.e., puking my guts out, the toilet is my friend. That big bear hug I reserve for those closest to me belongs exclusively to my porcelain buddy. Sitting there on the floor with my head practically consumed by a toilet I have an odd sense of comfort knowing that if I don't choke, I'll be feeling better any moment. I have never choked and always feel better.

Back in bed my uncovered foot and arm are giving me the chills. I pull the sheet up to my chin and feel warm immediately. The problem is now I'm too warm; this goes on for awhile until sleep returns. I'm awake again and I find myself hugging the toilet. I don't know if I'll make it; it's all I can do to get back to bed. I'm concerned that the sheet will get pulled over my head. I am reassured by my daught (sic) that I will be ok and as usual I'm being "so dramatic". I guess crawling down the hall to her room at 6:00 this morning and weakly calling out her name for help may have had something to do with the dramatic comment. Cut me some slack here, I never get sick, don't know how to deal with it. She patted me on the head as she was kindly on her way to the store for some over-the -counter meds and reminded me not to touch anything on her bed.

I awoke forty minutes later in my own bed, (how did I get there?) I found some saltines and a glass of water waiting for me. Stale saltines don't taste all that bad. I must be on the road to recovery or still too weak to change the channel; I'm not feeling a bit nauseous watching Bobby Flay whip up some gooey barbeque on The Food Channel.