Self-Cleaning Oven

I used to live in a two room apartment; kitchen and bedroom/living room. The closeness of the rooms was convenient; when I got hungry in the middle of the night, I'd just roll out of bed and open the fridge. During the winter I'd leave the oven on at about 200F to dry my mittens or keep the "bedroom" warm. Another feature of my oven was its self-cleaning capability.

One rainy Saturday afternoon I noticed the bottom of the oven dotted with cheese from frozen pizzas along with black french fries and greasy crumbs and decided it was time to let the oven clean itself. I turned the knob as far as I could when I heard the loud click of the door automatically closing. The oven was on its own. I sat back with a good book to let it do its thing. In about seven minutes a stream of smoke began to seep through the side of the oven door where the gasket was worn. As the minutes went by a noxious plume of smoke filled the kitchen. I had no place to hide. I tripped over the door stop running to the only window in that tiny apartment. Frantically, I cranked open the window as I realized it was garbage day and still raining out. A light went on in my head at the thought of having to run down three flights of stairs, around to the back of the building in the rain only to struggle to open the dumpster lid. I pried open the oven door before its cleaning cycle was complete and tossed the trash in the oven. It was burning anything and everything that stuck to its bottom and sides so what harm would a few coffee grounds and chicken bones do?

The smoke was getting out of hand. I had to get out of there! The apartment door slammed behind me and I ran down the hall and knocked on my neighbor's door. (I'd been wanting to meet the cute guy in 3B for some time and now was as good a time as any). There was a moment when I wondered if I would be criminally negligent if the building burned down. Those thoughts quickly passed after he invited me in, handed me a glass of wine and helped me out of my shoes........

This Will Curl Your Hair

My curling iron broke, actually it fell apart. I didn't think I was that rough with it but now I had to replace it. This is not a purchase that can be put off; I'd had to go out the same day and get a new one for the next morning. This is a pretty simple purchase or at least it should be.

I said I'd be back in about thirty minutes; the drive to and from the store is nine minutes, time in the store, to go to the cosmetics department, pick up the new appliance and check out another nine minutes. Okay, allow for a line at check out and I'm up to12 minutes; total of 21 minutes gone.

An hour later I'm still in the store. It's not what you think; I didn't have my hands full of impulse buying, I didn't run into a neighbor and the register didn't run out of receipt tape. The holdup was three choices of curling irons. The price range was $13.97 to $24.97. All of them heat up in 30 seconds, shut off automatically and have an easy to clean 1 1/2 " ceramic barrel. Two were black, the other red. Two were the same brand that I already own, but one had a digital read of the temperature, so you can know how hot it is. I usually just spit on my finger and touch the barrel, if it sizzles, it's hot enough. They all do the same thing, and pretty much have the same lifespan.

After about 10 minutes standing in the aisle reading the package as if this was the first curling iron I will ever own, I decided on the $25 one with the digital readout. On my way to the checkout I realize that is dumb. Why do I need to spend ten more dollars to know how hot the iron? Back in the aisle I choose the mid-price red iron; I've never had a red curling iron before. I've just chewed up another 15 minutes but this time I didn't get out of the aisle when I turned around to put the red one back and take the cheapest one on the rack. It's the same one I'm replacing, I know how it works and sizzles.

Actually, since I bought the same item I already had, my time in the store should have been about 3 minutes. What really is upsetting is knowing that I have to pick out wall paper soon; so many books and so many pages in each book. I may have to take a day off work for that project.

Epilogue

Things Are Never So Simple

I happened to mention this to a friend and was told I should have bought the digital one since it sounded cool and didn't cost that much more.

I should mention that I was shopping at Wally World and had the "must-save" mentality working for me and I was also one step ahead of my friend; I've been back to the store and returned it for the digital one. But the story doesn't stop there.........

When I found myself back in the curling iron aisle with the digital model in my hand I noticed the straighteners on the other side of the aisle. I thought I could use a new one until I saw all the choices I'd have to make. There was one that can be used on wet hair; it might be nice not to have to dry first. Before I go any further, if you 're a man, you may be wondering why I would be interested in a hair straightener if I'm shopping for a curling iron. Let me explain: after drying you can't just use the curling iron, your hair has to be smoothed out before it can be curled. Yes, you heard me right. Please don't try to debate this, accept it as fact from someone who does it every day. There was also an iron with rounded edges to curl the hair and it came with an instructional DVD! I decided enough was enough and I will leave the store after doing what I planned to do. It was then when I saw a clerk pushing a cart of Hostess cupcakes; I had to will every part of my being to ignore that and check out with my new digital readout curling iron. When I got home I baked some cookies.

So Much To Eat But So Little Time

When I got up this morning the first thing on my mind was what I would eat today. I sorta slept in and didn't go to the gym; thinking I'll just go outside to walk. The frost on the ground changed my mind so I watered the plants and thought of food instead, blueberry pancakes sounded so good. And coffee. Butter Toffee Coffee! I couldn't wait. But my mind raced to lunch and blue tortilla chips with melted pepper jack and cheddar on top and a baked potato, butter and sour cream on the side. I may need something carbonated to wash it down and Cherry Coke Zero would definitely fill the bill. I have been ignoring a chocolate malt in the freezer from a few days ago that calls me every time I open the door; this afternoon I think I will quiet it down.

My book club chose "Prize Winner from Defiance, Ohio" subtitled: How My Mother Raised Ten Kids on 25 Words or Less (woman in the 1950"/60"s wrote jingles for every contest imaginable) somewhat of a snore. While talking to one of my friends in the locker room the other morning about how blah the book is she said her son thought the movie was pretty good. The movie!! ...... so......... Lately I have to have popcorn while watching a movie (I knit too, but make sure my hands are clean) but it has to be real popcorn with grape seed oil and ground salt; but we were out and had to have the microwaved stuff. So needless to say I will be putting that on today's shopping list. By the way the movie wasn't too bad and I'm ready for the next meeting :)

I better get moving since I've used up about thirty minutes already and I've got a lot of eating to do today.

Hair Today/Hair Tomorrow

I have come to the conclusion that hair is more important than anyone realizes. It is something we all have to deal with everyday; or, in the case of the chrome dome (by choice or not) have had to deal with.

You have to wash it, condition it, comb it, brush it, style it, and dry it. Some of us get it cut every six weeks, others get it colored every two months (something I would know nothing about), and rug rats not only put gum in it, but cut their own, (and each other's), before the adult in the room has had a chance to put the scissors away after clipping coupons.

There are so many decisions to be made about one's hair: wear it short, keep it long, straighten it, or let it go natural. Every morning you make a choice whether to braid it or tie it in a pony tail, or just let it hang free.

There are hairstyles for everything from how you feel, what you're wearing, and where you are going. To that list, I'd like to add: how people treat you. For example, stop in at Wally World after a workout with most of your hair in a messy ponytail and approach the manager about why there are no Hannah Montana lunchboxes on the shelf. He'll call three neighboring stores to see if he can get one for you by tomorrow (and he'll pick it up on his way home from work today). The next day, walk up to that same manager in your Sunday best to inquire why there is none of the soft toilet paper anywhere in the store, and he'll tell you to come back on Thursday after the delivery truck has been here. This may give you some pause as to why "messy" me was treated better that "well groomed" me. For your answer, you only have to look around and realize the store you are in (and the typical clientele of that store). In all fairness, the reverse would happen if you walked into a Niemen Marcus after a workout with your hair looking like a rat's nest; actually, you might not even get out of the revolving door.

Another hair experience occurred to me the other day when I ran out to the local ice cream store and the ice cream scooper behind the counter wouldn't take my coupons. I was getting nowhere as I questioned her explanation ("we don’t honor those here"), even though they clearly stated the location's address on the coupon. Giving up in exasperation, I paid for the ice cream cone and went on my way. The next day I stopped at the same store (I happen to like ice cream cones). As I fumbled for cash, the (this time, male) employee on duty saw my coupons and asked if I would like to use them. I promptly handed them over as payment. Thinking back to the previous day, I wondered if my appearance (hair tied in a knot) affected the attitude the girl working that day felt toward me. If so, it's true what they say about the difference a day makes; because, today I had a kick-ass hair-day and an employee with good customer service on his mind.

Or was it even my hair that was on his mind.